Did going vegan give me social anxiety?
Or is being anxious just my nature?
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Onto the topic at hand! Yay, vulnerability!
😔 I have social anxiety.
I get anxious in social situations:
I have trouble holding my opinion when questioned by someone else.
I get nervous when ordering food at a restaurant.
I blush when I order coffee at a cafe.
But at the same time, I know I’m a successful individual.
I give presentations at work every Monday. Often with only 30 minutes to prepare! (We have weekly research meetings where we share our work with the team — I’m not in academia, but it’s quite academic).
I’ve spoken at tech conferences in front of hundreds of people.
I love making friends and meeting new people.
But I do have social anxiety, at least in some form.
🤔 Veganism and society anxiety are interwined.
Because I went vegan at such a young age, I’m not sure if I developed social anxiety BECAUSE of my veganism, or if I would’ve developed it no matter what.
But as a vegan, from that young age, I was put in situations where I felt othered. At any meal, I got used to being put on the spot and being told how wrong I was, or how weird I was. I got used to people reacting badly to my veganism.
Just imagine:
Every time you modify a dish at a restaurant to make it vegan, it’s uncomfortable (maybe because the waiter doesn’t understand, and you’re worried they won’t get it right).
Every time you’re invited for a meal, you stress about whether or not there will be vegan options.
Every time you mention you’re vegan, you get a negative reaction.
Because of this negative reaction:
You stop mentioning you’re vegan. But…
other people decide to mention it for you. But..
this centers YOU in the discussion, when you didn’t want to be centered in the first place. Isn’t that a bit anxiety inducing?
At least, this is what I went through (and still go through now).
💡People can disagree with an IDEA without disagreeing with the PERSON who holds that idea.
I know this now. But back then, I was like: “Ok, people react badly to Serena.” Not “People react badly to Serena being VEGAN.” Part of this is because I let my veganism define me during that time. But now I view my being vegan as just one part of me.
Because of people’s negative reactions to me being vegan, I eventually got to a point where I would hide it from people, to avoid conflict. I got so used to people reacting negatively. I just wouldn’t share that part of me at all.
Because of my reluctance to speak about my veganism, it was like a feedback loop:
I hide my veganism,
but if asked to speak about it I would feel very uncomfortable.
Because I felt uncomfortable, I would be even MORE reluctant to speak about it the next time.
Because I was so reluctant to speak about it, I would feel even MORE uncomfortable speaking about it when asked to.
And so on, and so forth.
The end situation is that I became — and still am right now — incredibly uncomfortable talking about being vegan.
For me, this has extended to reluctance in talking about anything that’s in the least contentious. I just don’t view myself as being CAPABLE of holding a strong opinion.
(Negative self talk, I know).
💗 A reframing, and some hope.
But! What has really helped me lately with my confidence in general is realizing that I actually AM opinionated. I am incredibly opinionated. Because I’m vegan!
Being vegan is, whether you like it or not, a radical departure from societal and cultural norms. Veganism is one of the most contentious topics out there! In a sense, there is no WORSE opinion I could possibly hold.
So if you are vegan: you have enough conviction about something already. Therefore you have enough conviction about anything else.
You’re already able to navigate that worst case scenario.
What if they judge me? They already judge you.
What if people think I’m stupid? They already think you’re stupid.
What if I blush when they ask me why I’m vegan? They’ve already seen you blush.
But you’re doing just fine!
You CAN navigate this world while having social anxiety.
Maybe veganism isn’t the cause.
Maybe it’s the cure!
Maybe veganism is the strength you need to realize how AWESOME and CAPABLE you are.
Framing it this way helps me. I hope it helps you too.
This was a short post. But I have more thoughts!
For more on the intersection of social anxiety and veganism, check out Episode 15 of the Friendly Veg Podcast. This post summarizes many of my points from that episode. YouTube & Apple Podcasts & Spotify.
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